


Flowers that Disguise Thorns

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Hanahaki Disease, Kinda modern setting, M/M, Military, Miscommunication, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pre-Relationship, Unrequited Love, depending on how you take the ending?, idk man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24078571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The first time this had happened it could have been a simple accident. Though Levi is not known for being scatterbrained, Eren understands he sometimes gets absorbed in his work and loses track of time. He had brushed it off and not thought much about the captain's absence.The second time it had happened it could have just been a coincidence.Now -the third time- Eren can no longer ignore the reality of the situation.Levi is avoiding him, and Eren has no idea why.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 5
Kudos: 115





	Flowers that Disguise Thorns

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my "needs editing" folder forever.
> 
> ive fallen out of love with the Aot/Snk fandom, but past me spent loads of time on this so i cant not post it.
> 
> please be aware that this is an open ended fic, if you're lookiing for some angst with a happy ending then well... 
> 
> please enjoy at your own risk. 
> 
> IMPORTANT  
> i didnt tag it, but there is some blood, typical of what you'd expect from Hanahaki, 
> 
> \+ (SPOILER) 
> 
> Eren is involved in a training accident, not too grafic but there is blood so i thought i better warn you just in case.

Levi had been avoiding him. Subtly of course, but he had been notably absent from his room during the last three of their usual tea times. This week's absence leaves Eren standing uncomfortably outside of the captain's room, tea tray in hand. His friend's specialty brew growing cold in the teapot. 

The first time this had happened it could have been a simple accident. Though Levi is not known for being scatterbrained, Eren understands he sometimes gets absorbed in his work and loses track of time. He had brushed it off and not thought much about the captain's absence.

The second time it had happened it could have just been a coincidence.

Now -the third time- Eren can no longer ignore the reality of the situation. 

Levi is avoiding him. He has no idea why, but the evidence is clear. 

Eren sighs and turns away from Levi’s door. Disappointment weighs heavy on his shoulders. Disappointment and confusion. What had he done to deserve this treatment? Had he angered Levi? Offended him? Or was there something else?

Eren returns the tea set to the kitchen and fills a mug with the lukewarm tea for himself. Forgoing the smaller, daintier cups Levi prefers. The remaining tea is dumped in the sink. 

Eren wanders the base, finishing his drink as he walks. 

~~~

As a way of boosting teamwork and morale, every month there is a day where all the interested officers compete in sparring competitions. The squad leaders, the special squads, the cadets, the Captain, the Commander, even Hanji -their resident doctor- participates. 

The captain is the current reigning champion. Very few can hold a candle to his skill. Though Eren had managed to beat him a handful of times, Mikasa as well. The title had been passed mostly between the three for years. 

Eren can see as soon as Levi’s first match starts that he will not be keeping his title another month. 

Though his form is as flawless as ever, Levi is slow. Eren sees him growing tired far too quickly, chest heaving like he can't get enough air in. The speed and stamina honed from years of hard training, vanishing in the space of a month. 

He beats Armin -a strategist who spends more of his time over computers then on the field- but only just. 

Eren watches from his side of the ring as Armin pulls Levi aside, a concerned look on his face. Levi merely brushes him off, focused on preparing for his next match. This one against Jean, another squad leader. A match which he loses far too easily for a man who earned the title Humanities Strongest Soldier. Even Jean appears to be in shock.

Eren beats out Jean, but he's far too distracted to put his sister in the dirt. 

When the dust clears Levi is nowhere to be found. 

~~~

“Are you avoiding me?” Eren asks when he finds Levi alone one day in the library. He’s cornered him now as he sits on the windowsill overlooking the sparring grounds.

Levi glares at him, shuts his book with an unnecessary amount of force and steps off the sill. He’s nearly toe-to-toe with Eren who refuses to budge. 

“Don't be childish,” Levi scolds as he shoulders past him.

“You're the one who's ignoring me!” Eren defends. He grabs Levi by the shoulder forcing him to face him. “Tell me why. What did I do?” 

Levi scoffs, “Fuck off shitty brat.” 

When he turns to leave again Eren doesn't stop him. 

~~~

Eren is drawn to a back hallway by hacking coughs. Retching, wet sounding things that remind him of sputtering death. Eren doesn't know what he expects to find when he races down the back hall after them, but it's not the captain doubled over, leaning against the wall, hacking up bloody flower petals.

“Captain!” Eren is at his side in an instant, but he has no idea what to do. Thankfully it seems that the coughing fit is over as Levi spits the last bloodied petals to the hard grey floor. 

He continues to lean against the wall to regain his breath, there's blood on his lips and Eren offers his own handkerchief to the captain to wipe his mouth. Knowing he wouldn't want to dirty his own. 

Despite Levi ignoring him for a month, and their fight a week ago he can't just leave his friend there. If they're even friends anymore. 

“Are you alright sir?” Eren asks.

“Fine.” Levi spits back. He crouches to gather the petals from the floor. Knowing that if some other officers were to find it there would be an inspection of all the recruits. Hanahaki disease is nothing to be taken lightly, “You will not speak of this.” 

“But sir-” 

“Not a word Jaeger.” Then he's storming off down the hall leaving Eren to try to remember what he was doing before he found him. 

Of all the people to get Hanahaki Disease, Eren would not have expected Captain Levi. The man is a stoic unmoving force of will. Strong, commanding. The last person Eren would expect to see pinning silently. He could have anyone he wanted. He has it all, smarts, looks, success. He's kinder then he seems, Eren had noticed, and passionate. The perfect candidate for captain of the survey corps. Eren can only dream of having someone half as good as Levi partnered to him. 

Eren had admired him all through his training. Back when he was a recruit Levi had overseen the recruits occasionally. Squad leader Hanji had said he was looking for new cadets to join his squad. Eren always worked doubly hard on days when he watched compared to others. He often found himself burnt out those nights. 

Eren had been overjoyed when he'd been offered a spot on Levis squad upon his graduation, even though he hadn't been top of the year. 

“Your determination is admirable.” Captain Levi had said. “You have potential.” 

The training in Levi's squad had been gruelling. Levi is a domineering force of will who would make Eren drill until everything was perfect. But he is also a great teacher. Patient and willing to help. Correcting Eren at every mistake, instead of leaving him to develop with them. 

Levi had carried him back to the camp when he had broken his leg on a mission and was unable to operate his gear. 

When Eren had been promoted to squad leader of his own squad Levi had congratulated him like Eren didn't know the influence Levi had on that promotion. 

~~~

The rest of the day Eren can think of nothing but Levi's condition. His idol, his hero since childhood, is dying of Hanahaki disease. 

Eren doesn't understand. Who could Levi possibly be in love with, and who could possibly not love him back? What is stopping him from pursuing this person? Or had they turned him down? Do they know that they're killing him? Would the captain be willing to get the surgery to remove the flowers? Would that impact his work? If it is someone on his squad he can't afford to forget them. But it is also against protocol to have relations outside ranks...

There are too many factors to consider. 

lost in his anxious wandering, Eren doesn't realize where he's heading until he's standing in front of the captain's private rooms. 

It's past dinner now. The captain could be in his room, but he could also be anywhere else. Eren knows he likes to make his own tea and drink it in the library. And he knows he likes to walk in the forest outside

With nothing to lose Eren knocks. 

When the door swings open to reveal a livid looking Levi Eren realizes that he may, in fact, have a few non-essential limbs at risk. 

“What do you want Jaeger?” Levi growls. He's in his leisure clothes, simple white shirt and black pants, the same as every other person on the base and he's barefoot. Behind him, Eren can see a set of tea on his desk, and morbidly, a vase of thorny flowers with familiar white petals. 

“I wanted to talk about what happened today.”

If looks could kill Eren would be 6ft under.

“There's nothing to talk about.”

“You're killing yourself!” Eren says incredulously.

Levi grasps him by the wrist and yanks him into his room, shutting the door hard behind them. 

“Say that louder why don't you! Do you want to get me discharged?” Levi hisses.

“If it would save your life!” 

Levi sighs, and for a moment, he looks exhausted. “Sit down Eren,” he orders gruffly. He takes his desk chair, pouring a cup of tea for himself and the extra for them. 

Eren sits on the corner of Levi's bed, the only other suitable surface. 

“Are you going to tell me who it is?” He asks hopefully. “I can help.” 

“It's none of your concern.” is Levi’s terse reply. 

“Of course it is! I thought we were friends.” 

This is not the first time Eren had visited Levi outside of their work. Tea had been a common occurrence between the two of them up until a few months ago. Eren would sometimes join the captain when he went walking in the woods. Levi had even joined him and Mikasa in their hometown for Christmas the past year. 

“That has no bearing here.” Levi is staring into his tea, swirling it in his cup but not drinking. “It is impossible anyway. I have an appointment in two weeks to have the flowers removed.” 

“But-” The removal will remove all memories of the person, as well as Levi’s ability to love properly. “Can't you just tell me who it is?” 

“What use would that be? They feel no love towards me. The reveal of any relationship between us would call their position into question. I am not selfish enough to ruin their career over the possibility of a relationship. Once my memories are gone, once the vines are gone, very little will change.” 

“You won't be able to love again.” Eren's voice is barely above a whisper. 

“I don't want to.” 

~~~

That night Eren dreams of Levi. He sees him again, in pain and helpless to the flowers growing in his lungs. He sees the bloody petals, red on pure white. Thorns growing from the captain's mouth.

Eren wakes early from his fitful sleep. The resigned look on Levi’s face haunts him. What would he be like without love? Would he still tolerate Hanji? Would he listen so intently to Erwin? Would he still allow Eren to join him for tea? Well, he hadn't been doing the latter recently anyway. Was that because of the Hanahaki disease? That had started months ago… there could already be permanent damage to his lungs. 

That morning Eren resolves to find who Levi loves. To bring them together, no matter what. Perhaps it's selfish, but he wants the captain, Levi, his friend, to go back to who he was before. Even if he gets pushed out of his life by whoever it is that Levi loves.

Levi Ackerman cannot lose his love. 

~~~

The place to start is Hanji, Levi's noisiest friend. They’re most likely to have weaselled the information out of the captain at some point. 

“Eren!” Hanji greets when he enters their office. “What brings you here?” 

“Did you know Levi has Hanahaki disease?” Eren asks, never one to beat around the bush. From the emotions that flash over Hanji's face, he can tell they knew. The guilt, and something else he can't place. 

“Of course, I'll be performing the surgery on the 16th,” Hanji says uncharacteristically quietly. Putting down the tablet they're working on to instead stare dejectedly at the floor tiles. 

“What?” Eren blinks, “How could you agree to that?” His voice is growing louder now. He knows Hanji is well aware of the side effects. 

“What do you want me to do? Just let him die? He refuses to tell me who it is, and you know him. Levi’s impossible to read.” Hanji too is getting upset, Eren can see the frustration behind their eyes, their fists are clenched and shaking.

“Convincing him to have the surgery was the best I could do!” All the fight suddenly drains out of them, and they slouch back down into their chair. “He was going to let it kill him.” The words are barely over a whisper, but Eren hears them loud and clear in the silent room. 

Hanji is crying now, silent angry things that track down their face unhindered. Eren can't imagine how they feel. In an attempt to save their best friend they have to perform a dangerous life-changing surgery. A surgery that would leave him unable to love properly again. 

Eren crouches in front of his comrade, his friend of so many years. “I'm sorry.” He pulls them into a crushing hug. “This isn't your fault. It's no one's fault.” 

~~~

Eren is running drills on the training grounds, leading the trainees through the forest to practice some basic manoeuvres with the 3dmg. Still, though, his mind is elsewhere. Back in the base with the captain. So when one of the recruit's wires misfires, missing the tree he hopes they were aiming for, Eren is not fast enough to react. The hook slices messily through the soft skin of his side, creating jagged lines on his skin, gashes that soak his uniform with blood. One of his belts has been severed, leaving him off balance. his whole set loosening in all the wrong places and tightening painfully in others. 

“Fuck!” As accurately and quickly as he can in his damaged gear, Eren brings himself to the ground. He hits the dirt hard, rolling several feet with his momentum. His whole body aches with the impact, his side burns, his belts are pinching. He must have hit his head, the world is spinning. 

How far are they from the base? Could a recruit get back fast enough for a more senior officer to get here in time?

A small recruit, one Eren knows as Finnley stumbles to the ground in front of him, his face falling in and out of focus.

“Squad leader!” 

Someone's hands are on his side, wrapping the fabric around him tightly. Hands under his arms, then the ground leaves his feet. 

Recruit Quinn on his left, recruit Finnley on his right. Half dragging him back towards the base. 

“Eren!” 

Erens not sure how much time has passed. Hanji is in front of him closely followed by Levi. They meet the recruits on the ground. Someone lays him out for Hanji to poke at. 

“Thankfully you missed anything vital, the biggest problem is blood loss, but he'll be fine as long as we get him back to my lab. He's definitely survived worse.” Their voices are foggy. 

Someone's coughing grabs his attention, he sees Levi trying to hold it down but the moment he meets the captain's eyes a flurry of small white flower petals escapes his fist. 

“You shouldn't be here.” Erem glares. “You're sick,” For the moment uncaring of their witnesses. 

“Then you should have been more fucking careful.” Levi grits out between coughs, that eventually subside so that he can hoist Erens arms over his shoulders. “Now hold the fuck on.” 

~~~

“You're coughing up entire vines! Why didn't you tell me it was this advanced? We have to do the surgery now!” 

“No, not while he's asleep.” 

“What the fuck does Eren have to do with- no. Levi, please tell me-” 

“You're not doing the surgery today.”

~~~

Eren wakes to the steady beeping of a heart monitor. A familiar sound as it's not uncommon for him to find himself in the medical bay after missions. And it's not even the first time he's been injured by a recruit's mistake. 

As always the room is too brightly lit, and the beds could be more comfortable.

Eren’s descent from unconsciousness is jarred by a round of coughing to his left. When Eren snaps his head to the direction his head screams, but he sees his captain. Levi’s whole body shuddering with the force of his choughs, numerous whole flowers and vines already littering the floor.

“Levi!” Eren shouts though his voice breaks scratchily alarmed he swings himself out of bed, his stitches scream and tear and his head spins but he kneels in front of the captain. There's blood seeping from between his fingers, and tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.

Eren has no idea what to do, the wound is in a place he can't see, from a disease he can't cure. He's injured and bleeding. Completely useless while his friend is in pain. 

Levi's eyes are frantic.

“I don't know how to help you,” Eren admits.

Then Levi does something so unexpected, it startles Eren to silence. He slides himself off his chair, kneeling on the ground, crushing the blood-splattered flowers and thorns under his knees.

Eren takes the hint and wraps his arms around him. Holds him tight to his chest as the painful shuddering dies away.

“If I ever find out who’s doing this to you-” Eren starts. He's seething with anger directed towards whoever is making his captain, his friend feels so small and weak in his arms. 

The long-suffering sigh Levi lets out is tired and raspy, “It's not his fault.” Eren’s breath catches in his throat. “Promise you won't blame him for this. It's all on me.” 

Erens head is spinning, he's not entirely sure it's because of Levi’s words, but that must be some of it. 

“I don't want to forget him, without love I'll be -.” 

“You'll be alive." Eren cuts him off, "Me, and Hanji, Armin, Mikasa, we're all here to help you and we just want you to be safe and alive.” 

“You didn't know me before him. You don’t know how bad I was. Reckless, careless with my own safety.” Levi shudders. “I was a monster. But I protected the people I loved. Without that-”

Black spots are shimmering over Eren's vision.

“I will always be here.” Eren slurs. Levi's head shoots up startled.

“Fuck, Eren you're bleeding again!” 

“I will stay by your side.” 

“Hanji!” Levi yells, he pushes Eren to the ground to put pressure on his wound. 

“I love you,” Eren's voice is fading, “I wish that was enough.” 

There's a shower of little white flowers.

And Eren sleeps.

~~~

When Eren wakes the next time Hanji is sitting where Levi had been. The flowers have been cleared from the ground. 

“Where's Levi? Is he alright?” Eren’s head feels clearer now, his side doesn't ache as much. 

“Levi’s alright, he is recovering now. The surgery went well. There shouldn't be any long term side effects.” Though Hanji sounds utterly crushed. 

“Can I see him? Please, Hanji-” Eren tries to slip out of bed, only to find his hand in cuffed to one side, “What the fuck is this?” he demands. 

“It's just a precaution,” Hanji says, “I need you to listen to me.” 

Eren slouches in his bed. 

“Good. Now, Levi's surgery went well. But there are huge gaps in his memory, we're not sure who or what he remembers from the past decade-” 

“What? Decade-” 

“Everything that person was involved in has been erased from his mind.” 

“I know that! Why are you spelling it out for me?” Eren’s growing increasingly frustrated by the second. 

“If he ever catches Hanakahi again he will die.” 

“That won't be a problem cause he can't fucking love anymore. Now can you just let me go-” 

“Eren!” Hanji yells, finally losing their temper, “The surgery stops the affected from loving anyone else ever again. But Levi could still fall back in love with the one that made him sick in the first place. It's why people are forced to move away after the surgeries, why they find new friends. It's too easy to fall back in love-” 

“So what? You're sending the bastard away? Good riddance, hasta la vista, or whatever. Now let me see my friend!” Eren yells right back. 

“No, You don't get it!” Hanji looms over him sitting in his hospital bed, “It's you, you infected him! You can't see him because it could kill him!” 

A sound like breaking glass rings in Eren's ears. 

"No... that's not right..." Eren's words are barely a whisper. “I told him…” 

'I love you, I wish that was enough.'

“It's not me!” 

Hanji ignores him. “Levi is being honourably discharged. His skills are too specialized to be useful in any other branch and his criminal record makes keeping his position outside the survey corps impossible.” 

“What?” Eren is baffled, “Why- he's being discharged over me?” 

“His performance over the past year has been… less than extraordinary… there are a handful of people who are capable of filling his position, and with the huge gaps in his memories...” Hanji sighs, “The top dogs don't think he’s worth it.” 

“It's not me.” Eren grits out. Stubbornness had always been his weakness, but there's no possible way that Levi had been in love with him. He would have noticed. 

Hanji doesn't dignify his words with a response. They leave quietly, looking far too tired for their age. 

The next time the door swings open Armin rushes in, Mikasa hot on his tail. 

“Eren! They weren't letting anyone in to see you, we were so worried.” Armin throws himself over Eren in a hug. Mikasa places a hand on her shoulder. 

“Is it true that Captain Levi’s being discharged?” 

Mikasa and Armin glanced nervously at each other, “Yes… The commander made an official statement this morning. The ceremonies being held the end of next week since Levi can't really stand yet…” Armin trails off, his eyes going cloudy.

A contemplative look makes itself home on Armin's face, “None of this make sense, you're so obviously in love with him-” 

A sharp jab from Mikasa silences him. “That's not helping Armin.” She hisses. 

“It's not me that made him sick!” Eren finally snaps, startling both his friends with his biting tone, “Why the fuck are you all saying that? It's not me!” Frustrated Eren yanks on the handcuffs securing him to the bed, they clatter loudly on the frame. Eren's wrist protests the pain but he pays it no mind. The frustration that's been building in his mind is finally spilling out. 

“I told him, I told him I loved him and nothing happened!” Eren's chest aches something awful, his throat is raw and hot, suddenly it's harder to breathe.

“He doesn't fucking love me so if you all just stop saying that-” Eren breaks off in a coughing fit feeling something coming up his throat with each sharp painful exhale. 

‘Oh, the irony.’ Eren thinks to himself when it finally clicks what's happening. He could almost laugh if not for the flower lodged just at the back of his mouth. 

Eyes watering Eren struggles to breathe. Until finally the large bloom blocking his airway falls into his free hand. Some petals are a little bruised from the journey, and his own bloody saliva is clinging to the all too familiar white petals. 

Eren brushes the pad of his hard callused thumb over the flowers delicate petal.

It's soft.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! 
> 
> this is my last AOT/SNK fic
> 
> as always, i thrive on comments and kudos :D


End file.
